Best Friends Forever... Not

Everyone has a best friend growing up... I was fortunate enough to have one that live nearby. I could see her whenever I wanted to. We basically lived at one anothers house. Me and my family done a lot of things for her, things they didn't have to do, things most people would never do. At age 4, I had a best friend, at age 4 I thought we'd be best friends forever, at age 4 I had no clue what life was really like..

All through elementary school I had her as a best friend. Of course, I had other friends as well but she was ALWAYS my best. We done everything together, we were always talking. She was a grade below me so when I left elementary school to go to highschool she was still in elementary. Most people would think that'ss when we grew apart but we didn't, we stayed really close. I told her everything, she told me everything (I thought).

She always had a boyfriend when we were friends. Sometimes I thought she was constantly blowing me of for her boyfriend or some of her other guys friends. Sounds selfish of me, I know. But she was my best friend.. I didn't really have anyone but her. She said things she didn't really mean, she said she was going to do stuff, she never did.. I did not approve of some things she did, at all.. Our friendship faded when me and Tyler started talking.

Long story short with her and Tyler... They were once a thing and she didn't do him right and I fell for him. Some people think it's bad of me that I dated him after what they had.. I don't think there is nothing wrong with it because after all the things she and him said and done to each other. He deserved someone good and so did I..

I always said I would NEVER let a boy come between me and a friend.. But I kind of, sort of did. I regret it in a way, but in a way I don't.. I would never make someone choose because it is a very tough decision, one of the hardest I have ever had to make... I will always be her friend deep down, but we will sadly never be as close as we once was.

In my opinion, I made the right decision choosing my boyfriend over me and hers' friendship. Tyler will always be there for me, he will never lie to me, cheat on me, use me, and I can always count on him. And If I didn't make the choice I made, me and Tyler would have never fell into something so beautiful... L<3VE

...Fight For What You Believe In...

What to Do.. What to Do..

School starts back for me in 1 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days exactly from today! I honestly am kind of happy to be going back. I miss the work, I miss having stuff to do.. I just miss it. I am so ready to accomplish my dream of being an RN, and me being in school lets me know I am getting there! =]

My boyfriend wants me to move in with him at his parents house. I mean I basically live there anyways, the only difference would be my stuff would be there.. I like it there. I love my parents to death but sometimes being there is too much for me to handle. Even if I decide to move in at Tyler's.. I will still be at my house a lot.. Considering I don't have a car because my mom has kind of taken mine over.. He is going to dropme off at my house on his way to work in the morning on the days I have school. Which those days are: Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Not too bad. I think it will all work. =] I am trying to be optimistic about it anyways.. "Don't Knock it 'til You Try it."

I have done pretty much nothing.. the whole time I've been on Summer Vaca.. Let's see, the most exciting thing thus far was the Tennessee Ren. Festival... I didn't do anything on the 4th of July, how lameee. Ha. Well I hope everyone else had a better 4th than I did! =D

I know...

Have you ever faked a smile? I have. I am happy for the most part. I have a great boyfriend that loves me and cares about me. I have a great best friend who would do anything for me. I am going to college to, hopefully, be what I have always wanted to be. What could possibly be wrong?

I seem to stress way too much about anything and everything. I can't help it at all and it really sucks. Things at home really stress me out. My parents do the best they can but I can just tell when things aren't right and it really bothers me. I stay at my boyfriends most of the time, thinking I can get away from the stress. I don't have a car of my own and it is really driving me crazy and I would do almost anything to get it back so I can do what I want, when I want without having to depend on someone for the first time in my life.

I am out of school for summer vacation. I go back to school at the end of August. Last semester I worked really hard and I stressed out super bad. School stresses me and upsets me when I do poorly. I want to be a Registered Nurse so badly I cannot stand it but it seems that when I do bad on one test, I feel that I will never be able to accomplish what I want to do. I hate that I have such low self-steem and no confidence in myself and my work.

Even though I worry, get upset, and stress way too much.. I know that everything will be okay. I know that I will be fine. I know that my life will be perfect, in it's own way. I stop and say to myself.. "Just Breathe." I may not be the prettiest, smartest, or richest girl in the world. But I have people who love me and people I know I can ALWAYS count on. No matter how upset or stressed I get I have just got to remember to "just breath." I WILL succeed and I will come out on top.